The search for love through the internet

2007-05-05T13:03:00.000+01:00

There is a lot to be said about websites that (supposedly) find partners for us, but for the moment I will limit this article to reproducing the findings of Match.com surveys carried out with the help of some (small amount?) of its users in 2006.

In any kind of relationship it is wise to listen to the mind as well as the heart, or the heart as well as the mind. The same is true in many things. Reading any kind of survey research results it is necessary to keep in mind certain questions, such as:

who is carrying out the survey, and why
are they likely to be impartial
do they have an invested interest in the result
who are being surveyed
is the amount of people surveyed sufficient to give a fair and broad view
does the survey portray a minority or majority
are they able to show both sides of a coin
are they able to show the full picture, or truth
and many more such questions

It would seem advisable to keep an open mind when reading results of any survey, no matter who publishes it, or for what purpose.

Below are the results of surveys that the Internet Dating organisation Match.com has published on its website.

Match.com Research

What singles are saying, based on recent Match.com research:

88% of Match subscribers are likely to be attracted to someone they meet on an online dating service

52% of Match subscribers are likely to be attracted to someone they meet in a bar or nightclub 43% of single women would consider having a child without a husband or romantic partner

Love and Money

(Match Question) On your first date with a new partner where there is a bill to pay, do you tend to a) Pay the bill in full yourself, b) Split the bill, c) Let your date pay

Only 2% of UK women would pay the bill in full, as opposed to 20% of Spanish females
32% of French women let their date pay, but 89% of French men report they would pay making them the most generous across Europe, German men are the least likely to offer to pay
UK, Swedish and German woman are more likely to offer to split the bill (71% & 67% respectively)
Almost a third of German men prefer to split the bill (31%) followed closely by Swedish men (26%) - Spanish and French men are the least likely to want to split (18% & 11% respectively). 1 in 5 British men are happy to spit the bill

(Match Question) Have you ever dated someone just because they earned a lot of money?

British and Swedish women with 7% each admit to dating a man just because they earned a lot of money

With only 5% of Swedish males and 4% of German men confessing they have dated a women for money

Dating

(Match Question) Why are you looking for most in a date? Friendship? Sex with no strings? A long-term relationship? Marriage?

Men rather than women are more likely to look for a long-term relationship

41% of Spanish men opposed to 24% of Spanish women, highlights the greatest difference in needs
54% of UK men surveyed opposed to 43% of women
48% of French men opposed to 41% of women
72% of German men opposed to 66% of German women
38% of Swedish men opposed to 33% of women

13% of Spanish men, 10% of Swedish & British men are looking for sex with no strings
7% of British women are looking for marriage

(Match Question) Do you find it more or less difficult to find an appropriate date these days compared to two years ago?

All Europeans agree it is just as difficult as it was two years ago

51% of Germans
46% of Spaniards
40% of Swedes

The French and the British believe it is more difficult to find a date 46% and 43% respectively
Women in general find it less difficult to find a date than men

(Match Question) On a first date, which of the following would you be most likely to do?

Arrange a candle lit dinner
Bring flowers
Hold hands
Whisper compliments
Play footsie
Recite poetry
None of the above

British women are the most tactile citing holding hands (22%), least tactile are German men & women, (7% for both sexes) would hold hands
38% of Swedish men would arrange a romantic candle lit dinner making them most romantic, followed by the British men at 20%, leaving the French trailing on 11%. However almost a third of French men (31%) would bring flowers as would a quarter of German men

(Match Question) Where are you most likely to go on a first date?

Spanish would be the most likely to go to a bar or cafÃ© - 48% of men, 60% of women
Germans are in agreement they are more likely to go to a bar - 56% (men & women)
French would go to a restaurant 53% of men, 46% of women

British women would be more likely to go for a drink 48% while men 45% prefer a restaurant

Sex and Love

(Match Question) Is romance more important than sex to you in a relationship?

69% of Europeans say yes
Although it is least important to Germans, with 36% of Germans disagreeing with this statement

(Match Question) Do you believe in love at first sight?

71% of Europeans say yes
French are most in agreement with this statement - 80% and Brits are least with 61%
British, (64%), German (73%) and Spanish men (75%) all believe more strongly in love at first sight than their female counterparts
French and Swedish women (80 & 75% respectively) are more inclined to believe in love

(Match Question) Do you believe it's possible to fall in love with someone you met on an online dating service?

75% of Europeans agree with this statement
Swedes are the most optimistic with 84% agreeing, followed by the Spanish 79% and Brits 76%
The French are the least optimistic with 31% disagreeing with this statement
European men across all countries are more optimistic than women

(Match Question) How would you rate yourself as a lover? Where 1 is poor and 5 is excellent

45% of Europeans would class themselves as an average 3 but 35% rate themselves as 4 out of 5
A fifth of Swedes rate themselves as excellent lovers (17% of men and 24% of women) but only 5% of the amorous French would rate themselves as excellent with 54% giving themselves a 3
43% of British women rated themselves as a 4 but the same number of British men only gave themselves a 3

42% of Spanish women rated themselves with a 4, but their male counterparts were less confident with just over a third, 36% rating themselves as a 4

Dating Preferences

Physical Attraction

In March 2003, Match.com polled 5,073 singles by asking: What tops your list for favorite physical attractions?

6.19% Hair
40.02% Eyes

8.83% Lips

1.81% Neck

17.07% Chest

14.27% Butt

11.81% Other

Personal Profile

In June 2002, Match.com asked 8,021 singles: What's most important to you in a prospective date's profile?

30.52% Age

34.30% Body Type

12.24% Ethnicity

16.74% Education

6.20% Income

Hair Color

In April 2003, Match.com asked 14,368 singles: Blondes, brunettes or redheads: Who makes the best date?

22.70% Blondes

34.57% Brunettes

34.46% Redheads

2.71% Silver foxes

5.56% Boldly bald

Body Type

In August 2002, Match.com polled 4,211 singles by asking: Does size matter? What body type attracts you most?

22.96% Slim/Slender

30.82% Average

31.94% Athletic

10.66% A few extra pounds

1.12% Disabled

2.49% Large

Bad Breath

In February 2003, Match.com polled 2,093 singles by asking: Could the killer bod ever make up for the killer breath?

11.94% Sure!

26.66% Maybe for the evening

61.40% No Way!

More bad breath

In July 2002, Match.com asked 6,588 singles: Would you kiss a date who had bad breath, but who was otherwise a hottie?

30.15% Yes

45.60% No

24.26% Uncertain

Smiling

In November 2002, Match.com polled 9,059 singles about the importance of a beautiful smile:

42.43% is the most attractive aspect of a person's looks

27.35% is nice, but a person's physical shape is just as important.

26.89% counts but doesn't compare to style and substance

3.32% is great just as long as it's not nicer than mine.

First date

In April 2000, Match.com asked 4,245 singles: First date. First kiss. What's appropriate? You decide.

22.69% Hug and a handshake

30.41% Peck on the cheek

28.10% Brush of the lips

12.56% Full-fledged tongue entanglement

6.24% Wake-up sugar the next morning

First date questions

In August 2002, Match.com asked 7,818 singles: What's the #1 question on your mind during a first date?

8.34% Can we be good friends?

28% Do we have enough chemistry?

12.74% Will there be a second date?

41.95% Does he/she like me?

5.67% Will we go home together?

2.88% How do I get out of here?

Etiquette

In December 2002, Match.com asked 3,274 singles: Dating: What's it mean to you?

58.31% Dating one person at a time until you meet the right one

29.60% Dating multiple people to narrow your choice to one

7.24% Dating one person at a time with no plan to pick anyone

4.86% Dating multiple people with no intention of choosing one

What men want

In December 2001, Match.com asked 5,762 men: Which of these types is the most eligible and desirable date?

Doctor 13%

Executive/CEO 16%

Teacher 26%

Stockbroker 3%

Nurse 27%

Police Officer 13%

Men and Mom

In April 2003, Match.com asked 4,485 single men: Do you tend to date women who have qualities similar to those of your mother?

2,631 58.66% Yes

1,854 41.34% No

What women want

In November 2001, Match.com polled 5,451 single women by asking: which of these types is the most eligible and desirable date?

Stockbroker 8%

CEO 21%

Police Officer 12%

Firefighter 30%

Teacher 24%

Politician 2%

Fatherly Qualities

In May 2002, Match.com polled 9,894 single women asking: do you tend to date men with qualities similar to your father's?

43.43% Yes

56.57% No

Dating Myths and Cliches

Instant Love

In December 2001, Match.com asked 10,104 singles: Do you believe in love at first sight?

43.43% Yes

56.57% No

Heart Grow Fonder

In November 2001, Match.com surveyed 9,530 singles by asking: Does absence make the heart grow fonder?

68% Yes

32% No

How Many Frogs

In November 2001, Match.com asked 3,144 single women: How many frogs do you have to kiss before finding your prince

0 7%

1-5 15%

6-10 17%

More than my lip gloss can accommodate 59%

Lost Love

In November 2001, 6,186 singles on Match.com were asked: Is it better to...

84% it is better to have loved and lost

16% it is better to have not loved at all

Buy Love?

In October 2001, Match.com asked 9,909 singles: Can money buy love?

70% No

22% Yes

8% Not sure

A man's heart

In October 2001, Match.com polled 5,488 singles asking: The way to a man's heart is...

44% through his mind

26% through sex

21% through his eyes

9% through his stomach

Blondes more fun?

In October 2001, Match.com asked 6,422 singles: Do single blondes have more fun?

55% Yes

45% No

Women in glasses

In October 2001, Match.com asked 11,423 singles: Do men make passes at women in glasses?

84% Yes

16% No

Dating and the Holidays

Valentine's Gifts

In December 2002, Match.com asked 2,065 singles: Does size matter this Valentine's Day? What do you hope your Cupid or Cupidette comes up with this year?

13.75% One red rose

12.93% A dozen red roses

2.71% A sample box of chocolates

1.36% A huge, candy-filled heart

46.96% An evening of snuggling and cuddling

23.29% A whole week of wooing and cooing

Christmas Gifts

In November 2002, Match.com asked 1279 singles: Would you break up with someone for giving you a cheap or thoughtless gift for Christmas or Chanukah?

5% Yes

87% No

9% Other

Women's Gifts

In January 2003, Match.com asked 5,411 women: From the list below, what Valentine's Day gift would make you consider breaking up with your romantic partner?

23.64% A coffee maker

4.44% Lingerie

14.23% Cash

53.30% Nothing

4.40% The traditional flowers or chocolate

Spring Fling

In March 2002, Match.com asked 3,923 singles: What's on your mind as warmer weather returns?

17.69% Spring fling

35.94% Long-term thing

3.24% Where's the ring

26.33% Getting back in the swing

16.80% Meeting a Match with a serious ka-ching

Spring Passion

In March 2002, Match.com asked 656 singles: In what season do you tend to feel the most passionate and romantic?

14% Winter

45% Spring

27% Summer

14% Fall

More Women's Gifts

In December 2002, Match.com polled 2,410 men by asking: Guys: of the following gifts, which do you think a woman would most want to receive on Valentine's Day?

1.74% A household appliance

14.56% Lingerie

4.52% Cash

61.83% Time together

17.34% The traditional flowers or chocolate

Valentine Kisses

In December 2002, Match.com asked 4,159 women: Which type of man are you least likely to enjoy kissing this Valentine's season?

12.96% A man with a beard or moustache

20.49% An unavailable man

37.17% A man who smokes

29.38% A man who's broke

Office Romances

Holiday Party

In December 2002, 1,635 singles responded to the statement: I'd bring a Match.com date to my company's holiday party...

8.20% If we'd been corresponding for a while

62.14% If we'd been seeing each other for a while

11.01% If neither of us mentioned that we met online

18.65% Without giving it a second thought

Office Flirting

In November 2002, 1,285 singles were asked: What describes your philosophy about romance at company parties?

18% One should be well-behaved and professional at all times

57% It's OK to flirt a little, but nothing very obvious

17% It's OK to kiss a co-worker, if the feeling is mutual

8% It's the one night of the year we can be wild and kiss as many co-workers as we desire

Online Dating Usage

Online Personals

In April 2002, Match.com polled 2,006 singles saying: Online dating is here to stay. So how many of you prefer to post an online personal rather than taking your chances at a bar?

49.00% I look online instead of wasting my time at bars

4.29% I work my mojo from the barstool and never go online

37.84% I post an online personal first but like to keep my options open by going to the club

8.87% I wait until I'm sure there's no action at the bar and then look for online romance

Profile Pros

In March 2003, Match.com asked 3,878 singles: What's more likely to make you make the first move?

37.21% An attractive photo

7.81% Additional photos that show some skin

27.95% A cleverly written profile

13.20% An outrageous sense of humor in an ad

13.82% Noting that our criteria match

Profile Cons

In March 2003, Match.com asked 5,897 singles: What mistakes do online singles make most?

22.83% Writing about their exes

13.18% Including other people in their photos

10.16% Trying to cut someone out of their photo

2.88% Choosing the wrong gender preference

50.96% Not checking their spelling and grammar

Logging Online

In September 2002, Match.com asked 5,898 singles: Where do you do it most? Tell us where you typically log into Match.com.

77.92% Home

13.50% Work

2.27% Friend's house

2.49% Public computer

3.81% Other

Profile Plus

In May 2002, Match.com asked 3,778 singles: What’s the first thing that makes you peek at someone’s personal profile?

8.89% Interesting username

54.71% Attractive photo

10.56% Compelling headline

10.11% Right age

12.28% Close location

3.44% It's new or updated

Admit It

In December 2002, Match.com asked 1187 singles: If you met the love of your life online, would you admit to your family and friends how you met this person?

92% Yes

8% No

The Single Life

Single and Fabulous

In June 2002, Match.com asked 9,749 singles: What's the best part of being single?

10.21% Dirty dishes can pile in the sink

7.13% Ratty underwear makes great "lounge wear"

45.35% I could meet my soul mate any minute

11.23% No meddling in-laws

26.08% All the bedcovers belong to me

Soul Mates

Match.com asked 6,700 singles in January 2003: Do you believe there is one true, perfect love?

52.16% Yes

36.22% No

11.61% I don't know

Love and Destiny

In July 2002, Match.com asked 9,211 singles: Should you go looking for love or wait for it to find you?

57.37% Go looking for it

42.63% Wait for it to find you!

Romance

In April 2000, Match.com asked 9,836 singles: Who's best at being romantic: Guys or girls?

35.79% Guys

64.21% Girls

Single With Children

Men and Mommies

Single Dads

In May 2002, Match.com asked 1,118 single dads: which is most important to you when considering a date?

6.26% Has children too

3.94% Expresses strong desire to have children

59.30% Mature enough to know that children come first

12.61% Can be playful and childlike too

17.89% Views my parental nature as a turn-on

Single Moms

In April 2002, Match.com asked 1,479 single moms: what would you sacrifice to find and date the perfect match?

36.04% My girls' nights out

5.75% My fitness routine

5.88% My chances at career advancement

12.44% My credit cards and shopping

31.51% My favorite TV soaps

8.38% My dreams of vacation abroad

Men and Mommies

In April 2002, Match.com asked 5,397 single men: Do single moms make better matches?

44.47% Their patience and compassion is a big plus!

21.64% Babies are definite BAGGAGE!

33.89% I’m open to dating if she could be The One

Dating and Sex

How Many Dates?

In April 2002, Match.com asked 5,237 to: Be honest: How many dates does it take before you become intimate?

12.74% One - I throw caution to the wind

24.94% Two - I've made up my mind after the first date

21.48% Three - If it doesn't happen now, it won't happen at all

34.18% Four or more - I'm not jumping into anything

6.66% Other - We're not going there until I get a ring

Sex With Friends

In June 2001, Match.com asked 22,753 singles: Does sex with a friend ruin the relationship?

28% Yes, you can't go back to being just friends

27% Sort of, you're still friends, but now it's "weird"

10% No. You laugh about it now; you won't let that silly mistake ruin your friendship

33% Are you kidding? "Friends with benefits" are the best friends to have!

Money Matters

Buy Love?

In October 2001, Match.com asked 9,909 singles: Can money buy love?

70% No

22% Yes

8% Not sure

More Money

In April 2001, Match.com asked 16,069 singles: Your mate makes more money. How do you feel?

52% That's fine with me

43% It's not an issue

2% We never discuss it

3% Green with envy

Who Pays?

In April 2001, Match.com asked 30,982 singles: While on a dinner date the bill arrives, do you?

58% Automatically offer to pay the full amount

14% Reach for your wallet, unsure if you should pay or not

12% Offer to go "Dutch"

14% Sit quietly and thank you date after the bill is paid

Kissing

Valetine's Kisses

In December 2002, Match.com asked 4,159 women: Which type of man are you least likely to enjoy kissing this Valentine's season?

12.96% A man with a beard or moustache

20.49% An unavailable man

31.17% A man who smokes

29.38% A man who's broke

First Kiss

In April 2000, Match.com asked 4,245 singles: First date. First kiss. What's appropriate? You decide.

22.69% Hug and a handshake

30.41% Peck on the cheek

28.10% Brush of the lips

12.56% Full-fledged tongue enlargement

6.24% Wake-up sugar the next morning

Kissing and Breath

In July 2002, Match.com asked 6,588 singles: Would you kiss a date who had bad breath, but who was otherwise a hottie?

30.15% Yes

45.60% No

24.26% Uncertain

Breaking Up

Break-up Season

In March 2002, Match.com asked 646 singles the question: Looking back over your dating life, in which season were you most likely to break up with a romantic partner, or have that partner break up with you?

38% Winter

15% Spring

23% Summer

23% Fall

Hard to do?

In March 2002, Match.com asked 649 singles: Is breaking up still hard to do these days?

88% Yes, breaking up is still hard to do

12% No, breaking up is easy these days

Email Break-ups

In March 2002, Match.com asked 652 singles: Have you ever broken up with someone, or had someone break up with you, through email?

8% I've broken up with someone by email

9% Someone has broken up with me by mail

4% Both - I've broken up and been broken up with by email

80% No - has never happened either way

Email Break-ups Acceptable

In March 2002, Match.com asked 650 singles: Is an email break-up an acceptable manner for ending a relationship?

3% Yes

34% It can be, depending on the circumstances

63% No

Match.com Community Points of Interest:

• Match.com has more than 15 million members

• Nearly one million paying subscribers to its personals businesses at end of 2004

• On average, profiles are viewed approximately 5 million times each day

• Membership includes singles in more than 240 countries or territories worldwide

Match.com's Single Members

• 40% Female, 60% Male

• 55% are age 30 +, 45% are under age 30

• 80% have some college or a college degree, 12% have an advanced degree

• 66% nonsmokers, 34% smokers

• 36% have children, 64% do not have children

• 48% want children, 31% are undecided, 21% do not want children

• Generally located in or near major metropolitan areas

Match.com Fun Facts

• Each year approximately 200,000 members tell us they found the person they were seeking on the site

• 67% of women and 63% of men on Match.com enjoy skinny-dipping

• 49% of men and 44% of women admit that flirting is a turn-on

• 45% of Match.com members say they show up right on time for a date. Likewise, 21% of members say they are early arrivers and are usually left waiting for their date to arrive, and 8% find being late fashionable

• 21% of Match.com members say tattoos are a turn-off

lonesome hearts

The search for love through the internet